How to care better about my child? How do mums from other cultures support children development? What do they cook to keep them healthy? How do they spent time with children? Why in Galicia in Spain children get fruits as the first meal, and in some other places carrot or potato? All this and many more questions on how to be better mum were around the original idea and intention of the Mommas project.
When we started this common journey we knew that it will be an experiment, and our first common meeting with nearly 20 mums and nearly 30 kids in the age of few months up to 6 years was its proof.
It was sometimes beautiful – when we have seen children from three cultures playing together not minding language differences & when we played with them.
It was sometimes touching – when we shared our worries, challenges, when we overcome our limits or learned how to define our boundaries.
It was sometimes very challenging, when at the end of the first meeting half of the group (despite the age) had a stomach flu.
For me personally the biggest discovery for now is something that I started to “feel” at the end of our first meeting in Poland and became very clear during second meeting in Czech Republic, that in order to look after our children, we have to learn how to care about ourselves.
And I truly mean – LEARN. Because my feeling is that very often everybody around expect us to forget ourselves in being mum. Or maybe it’s not only expectation from others but as well something that comes naturally with this beautiful little human being that we bring to this world. During first weeks, maybe months, it’s somehow obvious and natural that caring about child is priority and sometimes we just have to deny our needs. But as time goes by its so important to at least try to keep it a bit balanced.
It’s so clear that in the morning when I still have lots of energy it’s not so difficult to keep in mind that “there is need behind each behaviour” and try to guess which need is not fulfilled if this behaviour is in some way challenging me (crying, shouting, throwing things around can mean: “I am hungry”, “I am stressed because I don’t want to go to kindergarten”, “I need more attention” or simply “I don’t feel good because i did not sleep well”. And with still recharged batteries I can try to think if there is something we can do about those needs.
In the evening when my batteries are empty. Well… I still know all that, but… it’s so difficult to keep calm, soooo difficult.
So, no matter if its book, walk in nature, jogging, drawing, cooking, coffee with friend or with yourself, writing diary or yoga (you can extend this list with whatever makes YOU happy) do it to recharge! Do it for you and your child, and your family!
If not 30 minutes a day – this is ritual that we tried very much to establish as a daily Mommas ritual during first meeting, and I would never believe before being mum (especially single mums, how difficult it is! – at least 30 minutes a week – always a good start!
So remember, you do it for yourself, but not only for yourself!
Keep calm and recharge! 🙂
PS. I go for my 15 minutes of reading
Author: <3 Kasia Szajda
We are sharing with you our good practices of Me, myself & I rituals.